Staying on Topic in Your Essay

All,

A critical aspect of an essay assignment is to stay on topic. The overall theme for Essay Three is 'the justification of control,' and your essay must partake in that discussion.

Whether or not you have arrived at a specific essay subject, use the following to ensure that you are on topic and that you are beginning to develop profound analysis:

1) Given this spectrum:

Violence (V) - Threat of Violence (TOV) - Manipulation (M) - Reason (R)

Where does your subject land? Or, if you do not have a subject yet, what interesting example of one of the above comes to mind when you ponder this spectrum?

Ex: Violence manifest in the formation of the United States as a nation.
Ex: Threat of Violence/Violence implied in Foucault's analysis of quarantine during a plague.

2) Now that you have a precise starting point (subject), is/was the use of this form of conflict resolution [V, TOV, M, or R] justified or just?

3) Analyze the 5WH involved in your subject matter. (Who, What, When, Where, Why, How)

4) Analyze the power relationship. Who benefits? Who gets to make the decision? Who does not get to make the decision? How did the 'deciders' and 'non-deciders' arrive at their positions in the power relationship? Who gets to assign qualitative judgment of 'good' or 'bad?' (Remember dialectic?) Apply more 5WH.

5) Determine further incidents of justice/injustice present in this power relationship.

6) Outline your essay utilizing the QI, CLAIM, REASON, Em, Burden of Proof, Audience, Counter Argument, and Cited Sources tools.

Best of luck,

-Josh G.

Desperately Seeking Inspiration

Hey Josh,

I've been reading the next couple of assignments to find a topic that interests me for the next paper. Unfortunately the only one that slightly interests me is the negative side of prisons. However, I don't think I could actually write an interesting paper, that I care about, on that topic. I've thought about how violence in video games effects young people but can’t think of where control would come in. Any tips?

-Desperately Seeking Inspiration


Dear DSI,

You are under control.

Get the fuck out of your comfort zone.

Life here is so soft it can numb the thought right out of a person. Wait until the term is over before you go off walking shirtless to the Cascades or a one-way to a developing nation- for now use the Internet and your imagination.

Take a note pad, write down what you think are some possible questions at issue addressed by the readings you've done, then get on the Internet and browse news web sites, follow links out into the creepy fringes, and evaluate the ones that spark any interest.

BBC
Radio Free Europe
Al Jazeers
MSNBC
Fox
Voice of America

Take notes on why and what QI they may be addressing. Take special notice of any item that you think may particularly affect you as a young university student in Oregon, US. Take special notice of horrific items that appear to have no effect whatsoever on your life. Take note of the ones that are complete bullshit.

Take a break then brainstorm historical and contemporary, or even imagined/hypothesized situations that may be similar in some fashion.

Once you've sketched some possible threads turn on some music you can jam to or that you particularly enjoy. Songs with particularly poetic lyrics can be especially helpful.

Make connections: you - subject of interest - insight (cause+effect/claim+reason) - audience

If this doesn't get you somewhere, we'll try again in class tomorrow.

-Josh G.

Maya RR3

I think Americans always refer to the “Declaration of Independence” without really knowing its origins. It constantly quoted in all forms of writings and speeches of other great leaders. It truly is one of the monumental documents that our country is based on. Honestly this was the first time for me to have fully read this piece of writing. I was surprised by how much relevance it still had after so many years. I was very interested in how he used the mixture of logic and emotion to persuade the audience. I’m personally not very patriotic, but I was very moved by Jefferson’s conviction to have an independent country. Jefferson’s use of not only facts, but also passion easily made a very convincing argument. It is inspiring to think back to the generations that had the dream of having a country free of repression from their repressors. I believe that America will always hold that ideal value of a country of opportunity and freedom.

Sarah RR3

The Declaration of Independence is what the United States is based on. It’s goal was to have all people regardless of race and color be equal. The government was created to make enforce that everyone is created equal. “That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.” This quote shows what the government is supposed to do, unfortunately the government is far from this. The leaders in government today are corrupt and take advantage of their power, and they don’t lead our country based on the Declaration of Independence. There is lots of inequality. There is a huge economic gap between rich and poor, white people still have more advantages in the work force and education compared to minorities. Protesting is not uncommon and the government usually doesn’t listen to protesters. Guantanamo Bay is an example on how the United States doesn’t treat people equally. In Guantanamo Americans torture people who we believe to be terrorists. This is not just and when American citizens confront the government about it, they deny that Guantanamo even exists. When George W. Bush was President, the Government kept things even more secretive, making Americans lose their trust in government. When Obama came into Presidency people wanted change. This change includes all the values and principles that the Declaration of Independence represents. 

RR3 Jasper Newton!

After reading this short piece by Thomas Jefferson, my idea of the Declaration of Independence and its background has changed. Having Jefferson explain the background and reasoning of the Declaration brings the audience a better look on it, and what rights we were meant to have. The document is one of the most important pieces of written work in the history of the United States. It is persuasive in the way it appeals to the public and their rights. I believe in the quote “…all men are created equal”, but I don’t believe it is true today. When observing current society in the U.S, discrimination plays a huge part of disintegrating that notion. Discrimination in gender, race, age, wealth and knowledge all play a role. Jefferson went on a rant of what the King of Britain had done wrong, pointing out all the good things that the U.S has created from the mistakes of Great Britain. He points out that all the King had done wrong, and had done nothing in the name of the people and their rights. That the King of Britain has distributed no rights to the public and has proven a great threat to the U.S by attacking. Thomas Jefferson is taking all the King’s wrong doings and trying to learn from those mistakes to help run his country effectively. The Declaration is no doubt the most important asset to the public of the United States and our right to live here.

RR3 Leigh Parker

The Declaration of Independence contains some very strong points and parts that are really inspiring. I would have to say my favorite part is near the end, “…and by authority of the good people of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be. Free and Independent States; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British crown…” this line is definitely powerful and helps to persuade the reader. Although there were parts that I don’t agree with or that I can tell were written a very long time ago. For example, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” I do agree that we all deserve the rights of life, liberty, and happiness, but I do not like that it is assumed that everyone believes in a “Creator”. I also find it interesting that the Declaration is claiming that every man is created equal, and deserves these rights, yet the presence of slavery and mistreatment of African-Americans completely contradicts this statement. I also think that along with pointing out everything the King of Britain did wrong, it also might have been more effective if the Declaration mentioned some of what the plans that the “United Colonies” had in the future with their independence. But overall in my opinion, this document is pretty impressive in the way that it argues for our independence and has so much influence on the way we live our lives today. 

Han Cao RR#3

Initially, the American Revolution was to protect the existing way of life than to create something new. However, things were not happened on the track planned by leaders. During the Second Continental Congress, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin drafted a declaration of independence. At that time, most societies around the world were ruled by kings that believed in God. Jefferson argued that government can be only established by the people to protect their rights. After his ideas appeared on the paper, the people in the world began to accept and try to set up a new society all the time. I agree that people's rights cannot be deprived by others, even legally. Therefore, the government should be ruled by the people and can be abolished by the people. People are born with liberty and the Declaration of Independence made it possible. Yet there were some things that never mentioned in the Declaration, such as women, free blacks, Native Americans and slaves. So the Declaration was just the first step of the evolution of the modern society. People have been seeking a more complete method to preserve people's liberty.

Mary Saunders

The Declaration of Independence is unquestionably one of the most powerful and persuasive documents in the history of the United States of America. Thomas Jefferson's arguments are so effective because he presents the declaration in a style that is so passionate that one cannot help but to feel inspired by this one man’s motivation and courage to stand up for his country’s independence. The Declaration has remained one of the country’s most well-known pieces of text for hundreds of years because Jefferson’s extremely effective arguments continue to hold power and relevance. Many people may know the Declaration solely by the famous line: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among them are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” This line is famous for good reason; it is able to unite all people under the belief that they were all created equal by the same creator, giving every single person a commonality. The Declaration is so effective because Jefferson lists concrete reasons of mistreatment of the United Colonies under the rule of the King of Great Britain. Jefferson states that: “He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt out towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.” Jefferson provides solid, concrete, undeniable evidence of the extreme mistreatment that the colonies have suffered under British Rule. His style of appealing to the reader's emotions plays a big factor in the effectiveness of this powerful document.

The Dialetic of Independence

By Carolyn Sheedy

I wish we’d done the rereading of the Declaration of Independence before submitting in our revisions to essay 2 because I think it is a good example of what we have been trying to accomplish in our papers! The Declaration is an excellent tool to justify the birth of a new nation because of its powerful persuasive voice and straightforward organization of the essay. The paper has a clear enthymeme (to paraphrase it “we are breaking our ties with you because the your actions infringe on our basic rights.”) and supports itself well with the list of injustices and crimes.

I would say the success of this document is due to Jefferson’s masterful use of the three appeals. He appeals to authority by speaking from experience, we should listen to these people because they have suffered and they know what they are talking about. He appeals to our emotions by his word choice, taking advantage of the dialectics he can. Words like ‘abuses’ and ‘usurpations’ have strong negative associations with them still today, two hundred years later, as do words like ‘Free and Independent’. And finally, he appeals to logic with his list, pointing out what happened to wrong the immigrants and why it was wrong before finally tying it back into what they plan to do because of it, making their reason for declaring independence easily understood and reasonable.

Frankly, I am impressed by how effective these tools are because I did not really have much faith in them until I tried dissecting the reasons why this document struck me so strongly and persuaded me easily. I believe there are still flaws with the work, such as the long winding sentences, long repetitive lists and the overly flowery language but I accept that these are simply stylistic tastes and probably stem from what was common during the period this was written. Kudos to Jefferson on creating a wonderful base for the birth of our country as well as a wonderful base for any persuasive paper.

RR3

The Declaration Of Independence may be the most important document in the history of the United States, without it we would probably not be there today. This document is persuasive without using any threatening tactics. This is all about the people and how important it is for this country to their independence. The way Thomas Jefferson explains how "all men are created equal" would really appeal to someone because it is the truth and people like to see the truth when someone is trying to persuade them. Everything in this Declaration is appealing because it makes complete sense. Another persuasive writing tactic, proves how badly America had been treated. Jefferson goes through a lot of the things that the King had not done for them and it makes people think. After all of the complaints about the King, It goes into what the country needs as a whole. This is what ties everything together and really attempts to make Great Britain understand what they want. 

Karly Lundy

John Taylor rr3

The Declaration of Independence is one of if not the most important document in our country's history. Thomas Jefferson's point was that of laying out the reasons for us to seperate ourselves from Great Britain. Each reason that was layed was important and meaningful. I believe the most meaningful reason for that of "refusing the assent to laws, the most wholesome and necesary or the public good." In almost all of the sentences the beginning always starts with "He" and "For". Jefferson obviously did this on purpose so he could make the point known that the United Colonies wanted independence. I can't think of a counter argument when the argument itself is extremly solid and needed to be done. The three words that our country was based on was "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Everyone is this country strives to gain those three words. For example, even on a recent Cadillac commerical they ending slogan was "life,liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." This shows how even in car commericials those three words are used in a way to get people to buy their cars. The Declaration is an inspirational document that allowed our country to be who we are today.

Declaration of Independence Response

The Declaration of Independence is one of the corner stones of our nation and a crucial part of our past. When reading this short piece of literature it is hard to imagine the importance of the document as well as the pressure on the author. Unlike some pointless high school essay, the Declaration of Independence had to justify the birth of a new nation. 233 years later it is obvious that Jefferson’s words did the trick, and as I read over this historic piece again I am struck by its effectiveness. Similar to the papers we have written in class, the Declaration of Independence has persuasive aspects to it. The first two paragraphs are eloquently written and appeal to the emotions of any reader. The second paragraph also has a counter argument in it, “Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes…” This counter argument, like all effective persuasive pieces, is addressed and laid to rest. Jefferson then goes on to list the wrong doings of the King. This portion seems repetitive at first but as we look back in history we can see that these repetitive paragraphs are justifying independence. When Thomas Jefferson sat down to write this piece it is clear he was writing a declaration. But the effectiveness of the declaration makes it extremely persuasive. I can imagine the King of Britain reading this and saying, he’s got a point.

By Daniel Sapiro 

From: Courtney Puckett

The Declaration of Independence states that every person should be able to live in a Nation with “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. One of our founding fathers Thomas Jefferson was portrayed as believing that whites were superior to blacks. However, they fail to mention that Jefferson had an intimate relationship with one of his multiple slaves and had multiple children with her. Since racism is not being addressed properly in the constitution, problems of racism continue to be a problem currently because of the constant struggle for equal rights and equality for all races such as: Latinos, Chinese, African American, Korean, and Hawaiian etc. This shows that the Declaration of Independence is not being followed specifically by the United States of America and not even by one of our founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson that created the Declaration of Independence in 1776. However, we need to live up to the values our nation is based upon, like “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness” from the Declaration of Independence. This should be something that our Nation follows directly in our current society to help resolve problems like racism, inequality, discrimination and prejudices that were present in 1776 and have carried into 2009.

Declaration of Independence-- Kyle Lachmnd

In the Declaration of Independence we see a strong, meticulous argument justifying the use of violent force when citizens have been denied their natural rights. At the convening of the Second Continental Congress there were profound disagreements among the various representatives about whether Britain’s actions towards the colonies, however distasteful, justified complete political separation. To gain the unanimous support necessary to declare war on Britain, Jefferson needed to produce a document that would communicate to the world that the American War of Independence was strongly based on principles of liberty.
Jefferson powerfully lists the grievances of the colonists, specifically pointing out the violations of their inalienable rights. Many of the rights later listed in the bill of rights—prohibiting the forced quartering of soldiers, due process, trial by jury, and rights of local governance—appear in Jefferson’s grievances. Jefferson’s fear of tyranny and belief in limited government, ideas that would later strongly influence his Presidency, also show up in this manifesto on human liberty. His statement, “when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government,” foreshadows the later battles he would fight with the Federal Government of the United States.
Most importantly, the Declaration of Independence is a testimony to the influence of Enlightenment thinkers like Locke and Rousseau on the Founding Fathers. The individualist idea of a Creator endowing natural rights to each individual established the foundation of American political thought and history.
Kyle Lachmund

Declaration of Independence

The Declaration of Independence by Thomas Jefferson portrays a very positive message for the United States. I do not agree however, with the entire passage because I believe it inaccurately addresses some individuals. When Jefferson says, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…” it makes me reflect upon what I see in society today. Currently in the United States, a man makes more money then a woman in any job and because of this I disagree with this quote. Whenever discrimination occurs, whether it is the color of your skin, or in this case gender, it shows that everyone is not equal. In a county where people preach, and write about equality, I wonder what these people see in their everyday lives. For me, going to the University of Oregon you see how much inequality there is because of the cost of school. If a family is not fortunate to make enough money, they are discriminated from attending the University. Going back to what Jefferson says, I believe there is a huge difference between believing something (that everyone is equal) and actually seeing the reality of it (like wages of a women versus a man).

-Chelsea Schoenberg

The Declaration of Indepenence

By Allison Sheedy

The Declaration of Independence was a great way of cutting off ties with Britain. It didn’t involve violence (at least not to my knowledge) and is a great example of ‘reason’ versus threat of violence, etc. You know, what we talked about in class on Tuesday. I found it to be successful in communicating the intended message but not intimidating. It was written well and obviously crafted through a lot of hard work because of how inclusive and specific it is. The way it defines all of the conditions, terms, and issues appear to have been carefully picked out and not just added as afterthoughts.

It was a little repetitive, I admit, but I liked the style. While it appeared overwhelming and wordy, it was kind of humorous. The listing of all the wrongs the King of Britain had committed against them almost sounded like a little brother pointing out his older sister’s faults. I don’t mean this in a bad way, just that the emphasis by using the same repetitive style was definitely interesting while important. It catches your eye and brings attention to what it says.

I think the Thomas Jefferson did an excellent job on the Declaration of Independence. While he did not provide examples in his listing of the wrongs that the King of Britain did (which would have made it a lot stronger but perhaps might have deviated from the message), it did effectively get us to be independent from Britain which was the intended goal.

Joe Najdek RR3

The Declaration of Independence is a powerful document that is one of the reasons why we live in a free country. The most important line in the entire passage is the one that bothers me the most. “…all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights.” The word certain tells me that the government will always be able to render which rights will be given to the people of this country. Why aren’t all rights given to citizens? I also don’t believe that all men, and women, are created equal. Who is to say if a baby has abusive parents or is born with a defect? I could sit here and write about how this document declared our independence but we all already know that. Jefferson lists the many wrong-doings of the King of Britain to make a generalization and I think that simplistic writing could be effective in today’s society. If someone in 2003 had listed all the negative results of George W. Bush being elected, maybe he wouldn’t have won in 2004. Finally the thing that interests me the most is that delegates from South Carolina and Georgia got Jefferson’s anti-slavery comments taken off his own document. It is interesting to think about if slavery would’ve changed if it were mentioned in the declaration.

- Joe Najdek